Happy Holidays everyone!

Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year to the World!

See you in '09!

My first encounter with the grainy kind

Hmm, last Sunday we ate at Mexicali, and then it happened... A moment that will be etched in my mind for as long as I live... I, Mark Ramos, have, for the first time in the sixteen years I have been living on this Earth, eaten rice.

Now I can hear all of you right now, "What? What's wrong with that?" You don't get it yet, I have not eaten rice since the day I was born. Why, you ask? It's all just personal preference, but some of my college friends won't stop heckling me about it, I JUST DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT OKAY! As a Filipino, this makes me somewhat of an oddity, when almost 99.99% of Filipinos eat rice, I prefer not to. I once told my Dad, "When all Filipinos die of some freaky rice shortage, I'll be the only one left, I'll be Legend"

Made in MS Paint... Again!

So yeah, this is one hell of a milestone for me, but you know what? I still hate it.

Why? I just don't get it, it's tasteless and does nothing more than just stare at you... with its cold blooded eyes.

Oh the horror...

So I guess I'll just go through this lifetime without ever liking the evil grain, but maybe... Just maybe... Nah.

NARRATOR:
Will our hero ever eat rice? Will he fall into the evil forces of the grain? Can this blog get any stupider? Find out next time at the thrilling conclusion of... MARKED AND LOCKED ON DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM! (never happening)

Damn you, Robert!!!

Sometimes a great read can be ruined by a horrible/sappy ending.

I recently finished Ludlum's "The Cry of the Halidon", not one of his best works but still good. Anyways, back to the topic, the book is filled with action, suspense and what you would normally expect from Ludlum. But this is not a book review!

Spoiler Warning!!!

So towards the end of the book, our hero leads his ragtag team of researchers through the forest, trying to narrowly avoid death. They set up their gameplan, each one of them will sneak up on the people sent out to kill them to what will become one very fast, not so suspensful ending.

That is not the ending I am speaking of, I am talking about this:

"They walked on the green lawn in front of the cottage that was a villa and looked out the sea. A white sheet of ocean spray burst up from the coral rock and appeared suspended, the pitch-blue waters of the carribean serving as the backdrop, not a source. The spray cascaded forward and downward and then receeded back over the crevices that formed the coral overlay. It became ocean again, at one with its source; another form of beauty.
Alison took McAuliff's hand.
They were free."

Holy Shit! Was I just reading a Judith McNaught/Danielle Steel novel? It's like Ludlum said to himself, "Damn, got all these flowery words I forgot to use. I know! I'll spend them all in this one tiny paragraph!". The supreme level of sap contained in that ending could even overtake the most sappiest of all the sappiest things ever devised! Its just so weird to see an ending like that after reading all the brutal deaths in this book. One I remember went something like, the protagonist clutches his enemy by the throat, after some body blows, he then takes a rock and smashes it in the guy's mouth and drowns him in the mud! Drowns him in the fucking mud! And then I'm treated to this ending?! Ludlum could've been less sappy when he wrote that. I just hope "The Chancellor Manuscript" has something better.

Markel's Gift Recommendations!

It's finally December again! Only a few weeks until we rip out decorated paper, tear open stapled bags like mindless savages! That's right! It's Christmas again!

And of course every Christmas comes the question, "What should I get so-and-so for Christmas?" Well, if you're a parent, I've one hell of an offer for you!

Has your child ever exhibited the strong desire to kill animals? Is he showing the signs of a future Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, or Jeffrey Dahmer? Well now you can satisfy him without the mess and avoid any lawsuits PETA might file against you! I present to you our newest book...
DEAD ANIMALS!!! Satisfy your child's inner Jack the Ripper with all time classics such as...

Dead dog!

Dead Cat!

But we go exotic! Featuring critters such as...

Dead Sloth!
Dead Monkey!

Yes! With DEAD ANIMALS, your child will have hours of fun while satisfying his violent fantasies! We cover every animal from Aardvark to Zebra!

If you call and order right now, you and you're child need some serious mental help! So don't pass on this incredible offer!