Friday, February 13, 2009

Tokyo Gore Police

Last Sunday I watched something... A low budget Japanese movie called, "Tokyo Gore Police"
All I can say is... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! This movie reaches into the inner sanctum of your psyche, bounds, gags, then rapes it till there's nothing left, all doing this while looking down at you with its sardonic smile... And I loved it.

"But Mark you charismatic stallion" you may be asking yourself, "how can you love a movie like this?". That is because, ignorant reader, that first, it lives up to its name, there's gonna be a gory scene every five seconds, and second, its cramped with more What-The-Fuck?! moments than any Japanese thing I've seen! That's saying a lot. Among these WTF?! moments are, a guy who rips the half top of his head to reveal his brain that has a gun! A FUCKING GUN... IN HIS BRAIN! The gun fires brain bullets, you heard that right. There's a girl who melts the person she's fighting by spraying acid from her amputated breasts... I... I don't know why. But the most WTF?! worthy moment in the movie is a guy who can fly around using the gushing blood from his amputated legs, I'm not fucking making this up. There are millions more, but watch the movie to see them, I ain't gonna be spoiling much.

See, in this movie, a new breed of humans called "engineers" have spawned, their special ability is turning any newly cut off limb into a weapon, ala "Brain Gun dude" up there. This leads to all the cinematic mindfuck that you are about to experience. In this movie, about twenty seconds in, your treated to your first gore scene, a guy who gets his head blown off, and it never goes downhill after that.

In conclusion, watch it. Just do it. And bonus points to anyone who won't say "What The Fuck?!" throughout the entire movie.